i didnt realise it until the other day… how mad i am at u. How angry you actually make me feel. I hate thinking about how close we used to be and knowing that you cant even try be friends again. You talk so much smack about being this great guy and that no matter what happens you would be there… well where the fuck are you now huh?
Yeah, it might have been my fault why we drifted apart, but you obviously didnt treasure our friendship enough to even try get it back. You asked for space, so i give it to you… i even felt bad for a while… blamed myself all the time why you acted like a complete utter asshole, but now? ughh… sometimes i wish i didnt have to see you. Id rather not see you. Id rather not have to talk to you at all, even if its just for something really minor. Its not worth the awkward looks you give me that pretty much yell, why the fuck are you talking to me.
whatever… yeah, im ranting becuase i still frigin care. i shouldnt. but i do. and that i hate. I know its such a waste of effort.
i hated that i had to distance myself from everyone that we had common friends with, coz i didnt want to make you uncomfortable when we were in the same room. I might not understand how you feel, but then again… you have not asked me once through out this whole time how it made feel. its not always about you.
did i deserve to be ignored and treated like dirt? yeah… probably… at the start… but after more then two months of trying to fix things with you… im tired.
im so fucking tired.But you dont see that.. and i guess thats ok. Im slowly learning to let go of whatever our friendship was like before simply because i know you dont value it anyway.
strangers again.
